Three Nights
by CBarbie92
Summary: Her death was haunting all of them, even after a year. But Gojyo is feeling the regret of never confessing to her and is cursed with three nights of vivid dreams and restlessness, each night a lesson he won't soon forget.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**  
**Regret**

"Gojyo."

The redhead looked up to the rearview mirror where he met Hakkai's green gaze, "Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"I'm fine."

Hakkai's brows knit together in his worried mother expression, "We've been sitting in the car for five minutes and you haven't moved…"

The hanyou only just noticed that they were indeed parked outside their inn for the night and also took note of the missing monk and monkey. Hakkai stepped from the jeep which chirped lazily as Gojyo ran a hand down his face. "Gojyo, are you sure you're alright? We all feel a little down today."

"I miss her man, that's all."

He swung his leg over the back and so badly wanted to reach back and hold out a hand for her, like he always did. Although she didn't need help getting from the car she accepted his hand every time. She would bounce on her toes and punch his arm as he smirked at her, then would usually join Hakkai on their stroll into the inn. But watching Hakkai's single figure was a boring sight. One he should be used to, after all, she'd been dead for a year now.

"What the hell took you so long Kappa?" Sanzo glared at him as he entered the lobby a few seconds behind Hakkai.

"I'm not in the mood monk."

"Tch. Whatever." The blonde sparked up yet another cigarette. There was no woman to take them from him and raise her brow, poised expertly above her hazel eyes. The monk never retaliated either, in fact, his violet gaze would soften just a touch. It was a look Gojyo never missed, because he knew that underneath all those vows of celibacy and that scowl on his face, the monk might have loved her.

"…jyo…Gojyo!"

"Huh? What monkey?"

"Are you thinking about Nai?"

And then there was the kid. Completely oblivious to the pain even her name caused. He ruffled the boy's hair, "I was."

The boy nodded solemnly, "Sanzo says that if we think about her too much we'll giver her a headache."

Gojyo enjoyed an inner chuckle at that one, it was more like thinking about her too much gave the blonde a headache. Serves him right; how can you be friends with a woman like that for as long as the blonde had and not feel anything? But then again…Gojyo hadn't exactly said anything to her either, just teased her here and there. He was almost sure that if she was still alive and he tried to really talk to her, she would think he was joking.

"We're getting our own rooms tonight." Hakkai's voice once again brought the hanyou out of his thoughts. The healer handed the man a key and smiled reassuringly. "Try not to stay up all night Gojyo, get some rest."

Sanzo lagged behind as Hakkai followed Goku up the stairs, he narrowed his gaze on his companion and approached him, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Like you don't know what today is."

"I'm well aware Kappa but it doesn't mean I want to see your soggy face all damn day."

"Then don't look at me."

"Do you really think not looking at your ugly mug will help!" the blonde hissed and stepped even closer, "_Knowing_ that you're thinking of her when you have no right makes me want to put a bullet in your skull!"

"No right! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly how it sounds. You're the reason she's dead anyway! She called on _you_!"

Gojyo took a step back, pain covering his features, "That's not fair…"

"You let her die Gojyo. It's your fault."

"Um, sirs? I'm sorry but you're disturbing the other guests." The young maid tentatively interrupted the conversation as it had risen in volume and brought on a small crowd in the lobby.

Without a word Sanzo brushed past the red-head and stomped up the stairs. Gojyo followed behind him with a deep set scowl, both his pride and feelings sorely hurt. Now it was apparent as to why he was so bothered, so much more so than the rest of the party… It _was_ his fault that she died.

_"__You doing ok over there girly!"_

_The woman's rifle was loud as the shot discharged, she switched it's position as a demon came upon her and swung it like a bat, "I'll call you when I need you!" Was her way of saying 'leave me the fuck alone'. He chuckled and focused on his own fight._

_"__Do you think they'll ever get tired of attacking us?"_

_"__Considering-" Hakkai stopped to hit a foe, "-how close we are to the end, I doubt it."_

_"__Maybe you losers should be fighting instead of talking." Sanzo chimed in._

_It was a tougher fight than usual, more demons than usual…although they had taken down an army before this seemed a bit more difficult. And now that Gojyo was actually paying attention, it seemed as though they were being cut off from each other. A bigger ring of demons forming around them individually. He looked over to where Nai had been, caught a glimpse of chocolate waves then blocked a sword coming at his head. "Girly!"_

_She didn't answer and three demons came down on him. He was the closest to her, none of the other party members even heard him call her name. But damn if these attackers of theirs weren't really good…_

_"__Gojyo!"_

_Too good._

_Her rifle skidded across the dirt, she didn't have any other weapon but her fists, "G-Gojyo!"_

_"__I'm trying Nai! Just hold on for a minute!" He wrestled the demon who held his shakoujo and tried to tug it from him. Part them from their weapons and all but Hakkai and Goku were helpless, "Guys! Hey, Nai needs help!"_

_They didn't hear him._

_Her scream was louder than her gunshots. It echoed and was a chilling sound, "We got the girl!"_

The rest of the fight was a blur. In order to stay alive they had to keep fighting; meanwhile she bled out on the sand, alone.

Gojyo had gotten to her first, picking her up and shaking her, begging her to wake up. She'd pulled the sword from her lung herself, she even crawled a bit to get to them. But in the end she died alone to the sounds of the fight she'd lost.

The man payed across his bed and stated at the ceiling.

_"That's all I get? A stupid replay of my final moments?"_

"Girly?"

_"__Well duh."_

The redhead sat up and a figure caught his gaze across the room. One hand casually in the pocket of her frayed short, white t-shirt free of bloodstains, and green eyes framed by chocolate waves, "You're not real."

_"__I am very much real Gojyo and you can't ignore me."_

"You're not real. Not real." he covered his head with a pillow and footsteps neared the bed.

_"__You can't ignore me Gojyo! Gojyo!"_ her shout should have shaken the room, but she was not in fact real. Even still Gojyo felt the bed dip as she sat on the bed, _"Fine. But don't think i'm going to let you sleep."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**On The First Night**

"Oh Gojyo…" Hakkai frowned at his best friend as the man arrived at the breakfast table. His eyes sported dark bags and even his hair was a little tangled. The Hanyou obviously hadn't slept well if even at all.

"_Gonna be a long day on no sleep." the woman snickered, "Coffee?"_

A coffee cup hit the table and Gojyo jumped, quickly looking up at the waitress who for a second looked like Nai until she smiled and swung a blonde ponytail as she turned to walk away. Sanzo watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow, "See something disturbing Kappa?"

"I'm fine."

"You obviously didn't sleep well Gojyo. Maybe we should stay another night, you won't get rest in the car…"

"We're not staying." Sanzo started.

Goku looked up from his food for air, "I don't know Sanzo. He looks like he won't be much use in a fight."

The redhead had enough energy to bite back, "Shut it Monkey."

"Damn." Sanzo stood from his seat, "We're staying."

Hakkai watched the man rub his red eyes and droop further into the table. He knows why the man did not sleep–the _guilt _that swam in the pit of his stomach… Poor Gojyo. Poor Gojyo.

"_Poor Gojyo, poor Gojyo…" _Nai mimicked out into the air, sitting on the table, her ghostly presence not even disturbing the buzzing fly occupying the same space.

"Stop feeling sorry for me Hakkai."

"_You know he wont…"_

"I'm sorry Gojyo."

The man stood abruptly and headed upstairs. Pity didn't exactly make him warm and fuzzy.

Nai followed him up the stairs, _"__Oh Gojyo, why don__'__t you know that she doesn__'__t blame you.__" _her voice was again Hakkai's as she spoke.

Gojyo turned to her at the top of the stairs, "Do you?" She shook her head and he sighed, "I still feel like crap."

Someone exited their room in time to catch the hanyou talking to empty air. He rolled his red eyes and retreated to his room with the ghost in tow. _"__Well, i__'__m here so you can stop feeling like crap.__"_

"How so?"

"_We're going to confront your issue with my death."_

"There's no issue if it was my fault, girly."

The woman huffed, _"__That there is the wouldn't even acknowledge me last night.__"_

"Why couldn't you just let me sleep?"

"_Because you need to get over this. And if I have to damn near kill you to wake you up, so be it."_

Gojyo wasn't expecting the strong gust of wind to whirl around the shut-off room and knock him haphazardly into the bed. Nai approached him and laid atop him, her hands on either side of his head. His expression changed to yet another of deep pain, "I can't even feel you."

She sighed, "_You will.__"_

* * *

"Where are we?" Gojyo looked around the vast and empty dessert area where he now stood with a very real Nai.

"Where I died."

"But nothing is happening."

She nodded, "I know. This is almost two hours before the fight." she turned and pointed into the distance, "We were all preparing to leave that town, remember?"

Someone walked through the hanyou as they were now in town and he jumped. "Am I dead?"

"No, we're observing." she walked away from him towards an inn, "Hakkai's checking us out of that room we had to share."

"That sucked, the monkey and I had to sleep on the floor while you cuddled up with Hakkai and Sanzo got a bed of his own."

Nai rolled her eyes, "That's beside the point Gojyo. Pay attention."

"_Damn, my back is killing me."_

"_Not my problem." Sanzo lit a cigarette as Gojyo tried to stretch awkwardly and relieve the pain in his back._

_A yawning Goku bopped down the stairs with a woman behind him. Nai ruffled his hair, "You should have gone to bed instead of finishing that manga." _

"_It was the last chapter!"_

_She chuckled a bit until she noticed Gojyo struggling with his back. She approached him wordlessly and rubbed his broad shoulders._

On the other end Gojyo felt the hands and realized Nai was now rubbing his back, "Can you feel me now?" she smirked.

He nodded. It was the same touch he was watching; up his spine, across his shoulders, and down again, moving to his belt a bit. Then around his waist and a small pressure on his spine, then nothing.

"You kissed me."

"I kissed your back yes. You didn't even notice." Nai rolled her eyes as she walked out of the inn and looked out at the dessert.

"What now?" Gojyo questioned as he joined her, getting used to being walked through as two giggling kids ran past.

"We ate breakfast, our hands brush over the last blueberry muffin and you let me have it." she sighed, "I help Hakkai with the shopping, we load into the car then…well…"

"We touched a lot."

"That we did."

He reached out and brushed a hand through her hair then down the side of her neck. Damn if he didn't want to cry, "Now I'll never get to touch you again."

She jerked away, willing back her own tears, "No. Stop. We aren't done, we have to go further back."

"How far?"

"Our first winter together."

Her tanned cheeks flushed a bit, "Sounds good to me."

* * *

"_Bum bum bum bum. Paging the following two people, Mister Stupid Monkey and Mister Stinking Monk of Chang An. The tall, handsome, and super cool Sha Gojyo is requesting your presence."_

_The window to Sanzo's office swung open to show the blonde's scowling face, "I don't know anyone by that name."_

_Across the yard Nai and Hakkai chuckled as Goku joined the monk in the window, "What are you guys doing out there?"_

"_Gettin' Sukiyaki."_

"That was a good day. Was I always such a ham?"

Nai nudged him, a smile splitting her face and lighting it up, "You will always be a ham." For a moment she heard herself encourage the boy in the background, "It's strange for me too you know. I don't _feel_ dead."

The man's smile faltered, "Yeah, well, you feel dead to me."

She grabbed his hands and walked backward through the snow with him, "Let's go a little further into the night."

"…_and she stands up on the bar, throws back a shot, and plants one right on Hakkai's mouth!"_

_The woman covered her face with her hands as it turned pink and Gojyo cackled at the end of his story. Across the table Hakkai is blushing profusely and Sanzo is actually chuckling. "I was drunk!" she defended._

"_Very drunk indeed." Hakkai added._

"Damn that story."

"It was pretty funny."

"No, what's funny is the fact that you'd gotten so upset you confronted me in the kitchen later and demanded I make it up to you, like a child."

He looked down at her, "And you called me and idiot then ran away."

She smirked, "You left that part out when you told the story."

"_Are we out of hot sake?"_

"_You don't need anything else to drink girl."_

"_Oh hush." The woman teetered as she stood and headed for the kitchen, Gojyo following after her. _

The apparitions followed, "Oh…"

"Yup."

"_C'mon Nai don't do that."_

_She pushed against him as he pressed her back to the fridge and his pelvis to hers, "Gojyo you're the one who told the story and embarrassed me. Maybe I should have told about what you did after!" she hissed._

"_Not one of my finer moments." he chuckled making his red cheeks even redder. _

"_Let go of me Gojyo, the Sake is gonna overheat."_

"_So what?"_

"_Gojyo sto-mph!" _

"Ooooohhh…"

"Yeah, that happened."

Gojyo watched himself kissing her and eventually pulled his eyes away, "I don't even remember that."

"You were drunk."

"But you..?"

"_Not_ drunk."

"Damn."

Nai nodded, "You cared about me Gojyo. Even if it was just the physical me you cared about-"

"No." he cut her off, "It was more than physical, it _is_ more than physical."

"I have a hard time believing you."

"But why girly?"

"We'll go over that tomorrow night."

* * *

Gojyo sat straight up in the bed and whipped his gaze around the room. Not a thing out of place, just the clock on the nightstand reading 7 pm. It was hardly dark outside and the sounds of merriment coming from the lounge downstairs were signaling dinner time.

She'd put him to sleep around 10:30 in the morning so he did manage to sleep all day although that quick visit to the past didn't feel like much.

He yawned.

Still tired though.

"Girly?"

No answer. Not even a cold wind to signal the presence of a ghost.

"Damn."

He got up from the bed and left the room and she sat down in the warm spot he left and wailed.


End file.
